This weekend - Sept 1-3

I decided I have to start a blog. In order to not make my friends nuts calling them constantly having mini breakdowns and I think Jarett might be sick of me calling all the time to bitch. Journaling through some rage, as Noonan would say.

Friday -

Get home early from work, excited to relax and have a weekend to do whatever I please. The kids my neighbors clearly wish would run away are riding their toys in the hallway again. But I don't mind, I have cable to drown them out. I forgot to mention this in my last post, but the one mother to the left of the elevator doesn't like to wear clothing. Once she popped out of her apartment with all 250 lbs of flesh jiggling as she bellowed for her offspring. She looked annoyed when she saw me waiting to take the dogs downstairs, but she thankfully covered up to her cleavage. I wasn't so lucky two weeks later when she was sitting in the hallway in nothing but a tank top that fell to the top of her hips. I can only pray she was wearing underpants because her fupa was covering her lady parts. But this leads to why talking to the parents of these demons is completely out of the question. Usually, I try to think happy thoughts and pretend they are a happy bunch of puggles playing in the hallway. However Friday they found a new past time of ringing my doorbell to get the dogs to bark and running away. It's an awesome game. After calling my management and the super - I finally fled to Jaretts to avoid killing these youngsters before they had the chance to rob their first bank.

Saturday -

Came home feeling good. A little nervous about the Dominican Parade happening this weekend, but happy that it means there's a slight chance people won't be pantsless in my hallway. Find out I have no hot water. Hate life again.

Sunday -

Today I woke up to my heat on. I tried to shut my vent off, only to have the knob pop off in a steam explosion. I called the super, who as I've mentioned doesn't speak English - and he put on a translator who couldn't understand my frustrated cries of "HEATER....BROKEN" - Toni Ann suggested I move to Jarett's until he gets home. And if I could load the dachshunds onto my bike - I might have done it.

Tonight was better - a man told me that in my pajamas I looked "innocent and intelligent" then said he knew I was impressed by that. Clearly impressed enough to write it in a blog, so I guess he was right all along. Then a woman who I couldn't tell was homeless cornered me in the elevator to try to sell me earrings out of a napkin. I swear someone must be filming some kind of reality TV show and I just don't know it. Like MTV's "The Hills" - if you're life sucked and you had to live in Brooklyn.