Last night, I was having coffee with Katie and she said her mom tells her that when things just seem so bad they can't get worse, and then they do, that life is like a pendulum and that as sure as it will swing as far to one side as it can - it will eventually come back around.
I'm not convinced.
It's Friday night, and I feel like my head might just explode. I don't know where to even begin to start. I hate this place so much. A kid shut the door on my face in the elevator when my hands were full. Then, on the way to walking the dogs the nice lady started lecturing me that the rapist letter is bound to happen because "people" keep calling the police on her poor children because they make noise, distracting the police. How can one place be so terribly bad?
I can't even shower tonight, no hot water. There's officially been hot water as much as there hasn't.
The dog isn't eating, and as far as I can see isn't getting better. She's either going to die, or I'm going to live in this state of hell until she's hit by a car.
I'm supposed to be going on dates, so I can move on. My heart is completely not in it, and where am I supposed to bring said dates? Back to my place? "Hey nice to meet you! I can't wait for you to see my place - if we don't get attacked in the lobby don't mind the endless dog poop in the living room."
How did things get so bad, so quickly.
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1 comment:
Listen, you don't need to date right away. Just get your life back in order first. Like getting the hell out of that building. I can't help (hope) that Caliope would stand a better chance of getting well in a different (cleaner) environment. If anything it can't hurt and you have already tried everything else.
The pendelum swinging thing is true but you know things will get better as hard as it is to see that now. I promise you your heart will not feel this way forever. It just may take a very long time for the hurt to go away. But it WILL.
Focus on getting you out of that hell hole you live in. I'd give you a room here but A: I live in West Virginia (even if I am 40 minutes from DC and Baltimore, it's still not NYC) and B: I have six cats. Most of them bigger than your two babies.
But I love you and I'm sending you all the positive energy I can spare. (Sounds hokey, but since I'm agnostic, I can't really pray for you...)
Miss you and love you....you're like a real sister to me you know that?
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